How to Write & Publish a Memoir

You know your story better than anyone else.

You’ve lived it, felt it, and remembered the sights, the scents, and the emotions that shaped you.

Yet when it comes time to write your memoir, you get stuck. Which moments should you include? How do you structure your story so it resonates with readers? And what happens after you’ve written it—how do you get your memoir published and noticed?

We’re bestselling authors and ghostwriters Barry Fox and Nadine Taylor. We’ll help you get started writing and publishing your memoir by answering the most common questions people ask us about how to write a memoir.

1. What is a memoir? Is it the same thing as an autobiography?

A memoir is not the same as an autobiography.

An autobiography presents your entire life story, from birth to the present day. It is designed to capture all of the important people, facts, events, and dates, making it a complete record of your life.

A memoir, by contrast, is selective and reflective. It focuses on a particular slice of your life—a defining relationship, a challenge, a victory, or a turning point—and reveals what it meant to you. The best memoirs don’t simply recount what happened; they explore how those experiences shaped who you became. (See “Telling Your Life Story Via Its Meaning.”)

Memoir and autobiography overlap, but they are not the same thing.

In short:

• An autobiography is comprehensive. A memoir is selective.

• An autobiography informs. A memoir reveals.

• An autobiography is about your life. A memoir is about your experience of living it.

For more, see “Autobiography or Memoir?”

2. Are there different types of memoirs?

Memoirs come in nearly every type imaginable. Here are a few of the most popular:

• Inspirational memoirs such as Michelle Obama’s Becoming.
• Celebrity memoirs such as Jeff Tweedy’s Let’s Go (So We Can Get Back).
• Nostalgia memoirs such as Jennifer Worth’s Call the Midwife.
• Political memoirs such as Hillary Clinton’s What Happened.
• “Growing up” memoirs such as Mary Karr’s The Liar’s Club.
• Motherhood memoirs such as Rachel Cusk’s A Life’s Work.
• Memoirs of sorrow and survival such as Sonali Deraniyagala’s Wave.

There are also travel, sports, coming-of-age, and family memoirs—and even the autobiographical novel, which allows you to take literary liberties when telling your life story.

3. How do I prepare to write a memoir?

There are several steps to take, including:

• Clarifying your intent and scope
• Gathering your “memoir ingredients”
• Having conversations with certain key people
• Revisiting old homes and other places to tap into sensory triggers
• Organizing the material you have gathered
• Considering legal and ethical issues

For more, see “Preparing to Write a Memoir.”

4. How do I actually write a memoir?

Beginning memoir writers are often frustrated by the fact that there is no single approach to writing a memoir. There is no preferred structure, tone, or predetermined starting place for your story.

There are, however, four important things to consider before putting pen to paper. They are your:

• Purpose – Why are you writing this memoir? What do you want it to do for you, and what do you want it to do for your readers?
• Theme – The theme is the common thread that runs through your memoir. It’s the central idea—the motivating principle that will turn a collection of stories into a compelling narrative. (For theme ideas, see “How to Develop a Theme For Your Memoir” and “Memoir Ideas Are Everywhere!”)
• “Slice” – While an autobiography is a complete presentation of your life story, a memoir gives readers an in-depth look at a finite period of time. It might, for example, be a defining event (the week you were stranded in the wilderness), a struggle (your battle with alcoholism), or a triumph (your journey from homelessness to Harvard).
• Structure – You can start at the beginning and work your way to the end. Or you can start with the climax, then go back to the beginning and move forward. You might also divide your story into different elements and talk about each in turn. The entire story may take place in the present, or it might jump around in time. There are many other effective structures. The key is to find the one that works best with your purpose, theme, and slice.
• Grammar – Your junior high English teacher was well-intentioned, but many of the rules of grammar she taught you don’t apply when writing a memoir.

5. How do I begin my memoir? What goes first?

There are numerous powerful ways to begin a memoir. They include:

1. Recounting a distressing scene from your earliest days
2. Casually describing a situation fraught with danger
3. Describing the genesis of a horrible event that shattered your life
4. Pinpointing the exact moment you realized that something was terribly wrong
5. Describing what it was like before entering a potentially fatal arena
6. Taking us to your lowest point
7. Stating your philosophy
8. Describing a dilemma that simultaneously defines your life

Your challenge is to figure out which opening works best for your story. For examples of the openings described above, see “8 Great Ways to Start Off a Memoir.” And if you’re writing a business memoir or autobiography, see “How to Begin a Business Memoir.”

You can also study how authors have begun celebrity, family, military, political, and sports memoirs.

6. Does a memoir have characters, like a novel?

Every memoir includes characters. The primary character, of course, is you.

Most of the other people you write about will probably interact with you—they’ll likely have dialogue, and they may have a bit of a story arc of their own.

But while you know your characters well, your readers don’t. They have no idea how these people look, sound, dress, or behave; what drives or delights them; which jokes they laugh at, and what brings tears to their eyes.

It’s your job to bring these characters to life. The better you do so, the richer and more emotionally engaging your memoir will be.

For more, see “How To Bring  Your Memoir Characters To Life.”

7. How do I balance telling my stories and reflecting on them?

Great memoirs move seamlessly between what happened—the story—and what it meant to you—the reflection.

Stories bring your memoir to life through dialogue, sensory detail, and pacing. They allow readers to “see” and participate in the events as you did. Reflection invites readers into your thoughts and emotions. This is where they learn why it mattered, how it changed you, and what you understand now that you didn’t then.

Too many stories can feel like a string of anecdotes; too much reflection can feel like an essay. The artistry lies in balance. Every vivid story should be followed by a moment of meaning.

8. Which “voice” should I use in my memoir?

Your voice is a crucial part of your memoir. Readers aren’t just reading about you—they’re hearing from you. The tone, rhythm, and honesty of your voice determine how intimate and trustworthy your story feels.

Don’t worry about sounding “writerly.” Instead, write as you naturally think and speak. You can refine for clarity later. Your voice might be lyrical, plainspoken, humorous, or deeply reflective. What matters is that it rings true to your experience and emotional state.

Ask yourself: “If my reader were sitting across from me at the kitchen table, how would I tell this story?”

That’s your voice. Cultivate it.

For more, see “How To Find Your Memoir Writer’s Voice.”

9. Is a memoir the absolute truth?

Yes—and no.

A memoir is a piece of “remembered history,” showing how a certain situation, time, place, person, or event changed you, for better or worse.

It’s called “remembered history” because it’s understood that you’re interpreting events as you saw and understood them, rather than attempting to write a complete, factual, carefully researched, and impartial historical account as you would with an autobiography.

10. What should I do when I’ve finished my memoir?

Many memoir writers think they’re done when the final page is written. If only!

Take a few moments to savor your triumph, then get back to work. It’s vital that you revise your manuscript—again and again.

Each time you review your work, you’ll find new issues to fix, better ways to phrase ideas, and stronger ways to tell your story.

Set it aside

What you have right now is a first draft—the clay from which you’ll mold your masterpiece. Put it aside for several weeks or even a few months, then return with fresh eyes. You’ll be able to read more objectively.

Revise, revise, revise!

Revising means more than moving commas. It may involve shifting scenes, cutting entire paragraphs, rewriting dialogue, or adding or removing thematic elements. If you’re not revising a lot, you’re probably not revising enough.

Stay excited

Your memoir is about you. If you’re bored while rereading it, something’s wrong. Rewrite or delete dull sections. Keep improving until you feel as thrilled as you did when you began.

Consider professional advice

Once you’re satisfied with your latest draft, consider hiring a memoir ghostwriter or editor to critique it. These experts can offer insights you might never have considered. You can then revise based on their feedback—or hire them to polish the manuscript for you.

11. How do I get my memoir published?

Once your memoir feels truly finished, you have several publishing paths to choose from—each with its own advantages, challenges, and rewards.

Traditional Publishing

This is the classic route: you find a literary agent who believes in your book, and together you submit it to publishing houses. If accepted, your publisher will handle editing, design, printing, distribution, and often part of the marketing and publicity.

Traditional publishing carries prestige and provides access to brick-and-mortar bookstores and established media channels. The downside is that it’s highly competitive, slow, and offers less creative control. You may wait months or even years for acceptance, and receive only a small share of royalties.

For more, see “How To Get Your Memoir Published By a Standard Publisher.”

Self-Publishing

Self-publishing gives you complete control over your work—from title and cover design to pricing and promotion. You can publish through platforms such as Amazon KDP, IngramSpark, or BookBaby, and have your book available worldwide within weeks.

The advantages are speed, flexibility, and ownership. You retain all rights and a larger share of profits. The disadvantage is that you must think like a publisher: hire professional editors, designers, and marketers to ensure your book meets industry standards. Done well, a self-published memoir can rival any traditionally published title in quality and credibility.

Hybrid Publishing

Then there’s the middle path—hybrid publishing—where you partner with a reputable company that offers many of the services of a traditional publisher but allows you to retain greater control and a higher royalty share.

In this model, you pay a fee or share costs up front, while the hybrid publisher provides editing, design, distribution, and marketing support. The best hybrid publishers vet submissions, meaning not every manuscript is accepted—they’re selective, aiming for professional standards.

Hybrid publishing appeals to authors who want expert guidance and wide distribution without surrendering ownership or waiting endlessly for a deal. For memoir writers—especially those with established audiences or speaking careers—it can be an excellent balance of legitimacy and agility.

12. How do I sell copies of my memoir?

Unfortunately, in the modern publishing world, a good story isn’t enough. You also need visibility—the kind that comes from an author platform.

An author platform is the sum of your reach: your social presence, newsletter, public speaking, professional network, and more. Traditional publishers strongly prefer authors who already have a platform and a built-in audience of readers.

To build your platform, start small. Publish an op-ed related to your memoir’s theme. Appear on a podcast. Share excerpts or reflections on LinkedIn or Instagram. Each touchpoint helps potential readers see not just your book, but you—a storyteller with something meaningful to say.

(To learn more, read “Marketing Your Memoir Before You Finish It.”)

13. How do I keep my memoir alive over the years? 

You’ve built anticipation, launched your memoir, and reached readers who care. But marketing doesn’t end there. Instead, it evolves.

Just as you began planning your platform before the book was finished, you can now nurture its life after release. The most successful memoirs continue to grow long after publication through consistent engagement, new media appearances, and refreshed editions.

Here are a few ways to keep your story alive once the initial buzz fades:

• Anchor your memoir in current conversations. Tie your themes to awareness months, relevant news stories, or podcast discussions to keep it timely and relatable.

• Repackage and refresh your book. A new foreword, updated cover, or anniversary edition can breathe life into your memoir and attract new readers.

• Stay visible. Continue writing short essays, newsletters, or op-eds that echo your memoir’s themes. Each piece, no matter how brief or insignificant it seems, brings your story back into circulation.

For a full guide on how to sustain visibility and readership for years after publication, read our follow-up article: “How to Keep Your Memoir Alive: Long-Term Marketing Strategies.”

14. What Can I Do With My Memoir Beyond the Book?

A memoir doesn’t have to end on the page.

Many authors expand their stories into podcasts, stage performances, films, or motivational talks. Others use their memoirs to advocate for causes they care about.

Your book is a seed that can grow into something larger—a movement, a message, or a bridge between you and the next person who needs to hear your story.

15. Are there legal issues in writing a memoir?

Absolutely! Every memoirist wrestles with the same question: how do you tell your truth without violating someone else’s privacy?

You may need to change names, combine characters, or omit identifying details, especially when depicting sensitive material. Here’s a good test: if someone you know well and included in your memoir reads the book, could they recognize the truth but still feel treated fairly?

Remember, a memoir is not revenge—it’s revelation.

Write from honesty, not anger, and focus on your experience rather than assigning blame. If you’re unsure whether a passage crosses a line, consult an attorney or experienced editor to navigate libel and privacy concerns.

16. What are some common memoir mistakes to avoid?

Every memoir writer makes missteps. The key is to recognize and correct them before publication. Here are some of the most common pitfalls:

1. Writing everything. Not every memory belongs in your book. Only keep what serves your theme.
2. Settling scores. A memoir written to punish will repel readers.
3. Neglecting structure. Even true stories need shape and rhythm.
4. Forgetting the reader. Your memoir should offer insight or inspiration, not just confession.
5. Skipping revision. Early drafts are discovery; great memoirs are sculpted in rewriting.
6. Starting too soon. Many writers begin with childhood simply because it’s the beginning. Instead, start where the emotional action begins—where something feels wrong or starts to change.
7. Over-explaining your emotions. Trust readers to feel what you felt. Show through story and detail.
8. Changing tone midstream. Shifting between confessional, comic, and reportorial voices can make readers feel unanchored. Choose a consistent tone that matches your story’s core emotion.
9. Ignoring pacing. A memoir without movement feels heavy. Vary rhythm—alternate long reflections with brisk scenes or dialogue—to keep readers turning pages.
10. Leaving out the transformation. A memoir without change is a diary. Readers want to see how you evolved, not just what happened.
11. Ending abruptly. Don’t stop just because the story’s over; reflect on what the journey means now. Closure gives both you and your readers satisfaction.

Final Thoughts

Writing a memoir is more than revisiting your past. It’s an act of transformation—turning memory into meaning, experience into art.

Whether your book chronicles tragedy, triumph, or quiet revelation, your story matters. And if you tell it with honesty, reflection, and purpose, your readers will see themselves in your pages.

A great memoir captures more than memory—it captures transformation. It invites readers into your journey so they, too, can see themselves reflected in your words.

That’s what makes memoir one of the most powerful forms of storytelling there is.